Where are the boundaries of friendship with your ex?
In many cases, especially the relationship that the two were friends before entering a relationship, one of the duo wants to have the friendship they had before and even regrets turning it into something more serious but it does not always happen regardless of the gender. There are some rules if you want to make that happen and in this article, we are going to present them to you to help you get past this and have your friendship with your ex back. After going through this article, you will manage to have great times together. Ready?
Can you stay friends
Before even trying, you need to sit down and be truthful to yourself. What is the reason why you want to be friends in the first place? Is it because you are hoping that they will come back and restart the relationship with you again? There are things that you need to clear up and the reason needs to be vivid, for you and for the partner both at the same time. If you haven’t had the closure then why do you want to stay friends with the cause of your pain?
Click on Next Page to see what Dr. Gabrielle Morrissey has to say about this!
Dr. Gabrielle Morrissey, a relationship expert says: “If you're hanging on because of a desire to re-spark the relationship and you'd rather have unrequited love than nothing at all, you're doing yourself a disservice. Be aware of signs you're not moving forward, such as having photos of your ex on display, not dating other people and spending too much time with them. You need to be looking forward not backward to truly heal.”
No matter what the reason for your breakup was, you need to remember that respect is the first thing you need to have for your ex in order to get back to being friends. Right when the break up happens, if you are the one who was dumped, you probably want others to think like you are over it and that your ex was not even as good as you presented him/her to others and that is when you start talking trash! Saying things you do not really mean is a big NO-NO if you want to stay together as friends.
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Give it some time
If the break up has happened recently, you need to give it some time. Don’t expect the person to jump into the friend zone the next day because it is almost impossible! There were feelings involved and it will take some time to get the hang of the emotions you or your partner are going through. John Aiken, a clinical psychologist, and relationship expert says: “You cannot just turn off romantic feelings. There is a process that needs to be worked through before you can start looking at a friendship.”
You cannot stay friend and have all the privileges that you had before when you were dating that person like calling the person or texting them all the time that you like just because you were having a bad day or anything like that. Friends here does not stand for besties. Make sure that you both are aware of the boundaries that exist now that you are no longer together.
Go to the Next Page to learn how to move on emotionally!
Dr. Gabrielle Morrissey, a relationship expert says: “This transition phase can be awkward, but you are creating a new relationship. Calling each other by pet names, signing off with kisses and using each other for emotional support has to stop.
Setting clear and defined boundaries means when you become attached again you'll have an emotionally healthy relationship with your ex.”
Have your own life
You are no longer in a relationship with your ex so there is no need to know anything about their private life. If they share something with you then that is their problem, but it is always better to follow the new rules and stay away from anything that might cause a conflict or raise jealousy. "Stay out of your ex's dating life altogether. You cannot be each other's confidants as it sends you both back into an intimacy zone, which makes it harder to move on with someone else,” says Dr. Morrissey.
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Move on emotionally
It is not possible to get to the friend zone if you still are emotionally clinging to the feelings that you had for the person. John Aiken, a clinical psychologist, and relationship expert says: “It's almost impossible to meet somebody else if you're still emotionally tied to your ex. Be aware of the amount of contact you have and consciously look for another support person to share your feelings and problems with.”
You need to keep the contact to the minimum at the beginning. The chemistry you had together will always stay there and your friends will see that, which will not help you at all. That is the reason why you need to know exactly where you are standing with your ex and what the boundaries are in order not to destroy what you have just started. The friendship is delicate and fragile. Make sure that you have a mutual understanding that is needed to continue it.
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