Scientists reveal what questions to ask to find real love
In the world, there are many book-guides that say how to find true love. Also in numerous magazines and portals, you can read tips about women and men and whether they match each other or not. Of course, even if it sounds banal, love is complicated and probably there is some truth to every published idea and piece of advice. But can you imagine to find love only by asking questions? Maybe it is surprising but there is an experiment that confirms it…
According to some research, people can fall in love when they ask themselves questions. Only what they need to do is to look deeply into each other eyes during the conversation and speak honestly and openly. The meeting should be carried out in a calm and intimate atmosphere, without any interference from outside. If the experiment succeeds, love has a really big chance to appear. After all, as O. K. Bernhardt has said: "Never forget that the first kiss is not given with the mouth, but with the eyes".
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However, before we present to you questions that will help you find love, you must learn the history of this research. It all started twenty years ago when the professor of psychology at New York University, Arthur Aron, carried out his experiment. First, he asked the respondents to ask each other questions without any embarrassment and to answer them honestly. Then, after completing the conversation, they were asked to look into each other's eyes for four minutes in complete silence.
Surprised scientists found out that half of the year later, the vast majority of people taking part in the study not only fell in love with each other but also got married. How did this happen? Psychologists believe that the reason for this is the fact that during the conversation, we are honest and discover ourselves, both our strengths and weaknesses. And this brings people closer to each other. The journalist New York Times Mandy, Len Catron, decided to conduct the experiment once again. Interestingly, the participants of her test also fell in love...
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Well, what questions should we ask to fall in love? Here they are listed:
- If you had to choose one person in the world with whom you go to dinner, who would it be?
- Would you like to be recognized by others?
- Do you plan what you say before you call someone? Why?
- What would your perfect day look like?
- When was the last time you sang something to yourself? When was the last time you sang for someone?
- If you could live to the 90's and keep your mind or body from the time you were 30 years old for another 60, then what would you choose?
- Do you think you know how you will die?
- List three things that you think are common between you and your partner.
- For what in your life are you most grateful?
- If you could change something in your upbringing, what would it be?
- In just 4 minutes, tell your partner about your life with as many details as you can remember.
- If you could wake up tomorrow with new ability or skill, what would it be?
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- If you had a crystal ball that would tell you the truth about you, your life, the future, what would you like to know?
- Is there anything you've been longing to do? What stops you from implementing your plans?
- What is your greatest achievement in life?
You might think this is a lot and too intimate, but there is more... The researchers added also a list of questions that must be answered. They really make a deep connection between two strangers.
- What do you value most about your friends and the people you love?
- What is your favorite memory?
- What is your most painful memory?
- If you knew the moment when you would die, would you change something in your life? Why?
- What does friendship mean to you?
- What is the meaning of love and feelings in your life?
- How close is your relationship with your family? Do you think you had a happy childhood?
- What do you think about your relationship with your mother?
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- Say three true sentences that start with "we".
- Complete the following sentence: "I would like to share ... with someone."
- If you wanted to be a good friend to your partner, what should he know about you?
- Tell your partner what you do not like about him. Be very honest and say what you would not normally tell a stranger.
- Tell your partner about the unpleasant period in your life.
- When was the last time you cried and why was it?
- Tell your partner what you like about him.
- What topic you could never joke about?
- If you were to die today without the opportunity to talk to anyone, what unsaid thoughts would you regret the most? Why haven't you expressed it so far?
- Whose death influenced you the most? Why?
- Share your personal problem with your partner and ask him for advice on how to solve it. Then ask him what he thinks of your honesty in telling this story.
Will you be so brave and honest to ask and answer all these questions? Do you think this is really the way to find a true love?