8 Signs telling you that you are addicted to your partner
You are able to accept his lies, his offensive words, his rude behavior, bad habits, betrayal? You still think he loves you and you should be together? Or maybe he is a good partner but your obsessive behavior destroys your relationship? If your life seems to be void without him then it may be an addiction. You can be stuck in such a toxic relationship or you choose to change something for the better, either by leaving him or by changing how you perceive your bond. First, you need to determine whether you are really addicted to your partner or not.
1. Only him in your head
Are you with your best friends and can’t stop thinking about him? Are you taking an important exam and you only think about your meeting tonight? Are you constantly sending him lots of messages asking about anything? Can’t you concentrate on your work and the only priority that is in your head is him? Well, that’s not a good sign. Such a behavior is highly obsessive and may indicate that you can’t live without your partner. Be careful as he may feel too overwhelmed and oppressed.
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2. Nothing is more important
Did you start avoiding your family or friends and now you just spend the time with your partner? He is your whole world and nothing else compares to being with him. If your friends invite you somewhere, you always take your boyfriend too. And all the passions and hobbies are also shared with him. Your room is full of your mutual photos, just like your Facebook account… The only things that count now are your romantic dates, future travels, beautiful wedding, and kids. Oh, so romantic! But… too addictive!
Your worst nightmare? That he can leave you! You know that you wouldn’t survive such a thing. It could be the end of your life. You couldn't be happy without him after all! So you live in constant fear and stress that he may leave you one day and enjoy his life with some other girl (that’s why you are reading his text messages and spying on him??) If there are any arguments you are always nervous because it may be that trigger which would make him leave. So when you quarrel, you are always the one who agrees with him at the end.
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4. Risking for him
Have you ever sneaked out while being at work to meet him? Have you skipped many important classes at your university because you missed him so much? That can be a romantic experience only if you do it very rarely. But if you regularly neglect your obligations and risk being fired at work then...make sure your feelings aren't too crazy and insane. Otherwise, you will have to bear the consequences of your careless decisions. Isn’t it better just to send one or two text messages saying you love him and then wait until you finish all the things you are supposed to do? Longing is not that bad.
5. Sleepless nights
Is he on a business trip and you have to stay alone in your flat? Or your parents need some help and you stayed a few days in their house? Such things are so painful for you! You cannot fall asleep, you roll over all night and feel like you’re ill. You know that such things must happen from time to time but really cannot stand them. Any trips or nights out with your best friends are always out of the question so they even stopped inviting you to them. You know you wouldn’t have fun with your friends knowing that your partner sleeps alone at that time.
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6. Your money, his money
If your partner has some financial problems and cannot support your for some time then it’s ok, it may happen and you need to help each other. But what if he doesn’t want to work on purpose? He is lazy and he knows that you will give him money and pay all the bills. In this case, you shouldn't agree to continue this. If you are obedient and naive to this extent, then it means you are addicted to him. Why keep such a sponger at home? He probably doesn’t need your love, only your money.
7. Forced intimacy
You don’t feel like making love to him but you force yourself to do that. You think that if he wants it and desires you then you should be submissive and agree to that. So even if you are not in a mood or just sleepy, you don’t say ‘no’. You are just afraid that he may abandon you or find some other girl, maybe even younger and more beautiful! If you are afraid of being honest with him and cannot refuse intimate contact then it’s also a sign of addiction. In this case, you allow him to manipulate and do whatever he wants with you.
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8. Accepting everything
Did he betray you? ‘Oh, he must have felt lonely’. Can’t he stop drinking alcohol and does it every day? ‘That’s probably because of huge pressure at work’. Did he tell you something really offensive? 'He was probably nervous and tired'. Your excuses go on and on. You defend him even in front of your family and cannot see how much of a bad person he is. Such toxic relationship may drain you and lead to a depression if you don’t do anything about. If your whole family and friends tell you he’s not worth you, then maybe they are true?
What to do?
Ok, so you read the article and you are certain that your relationship is addictive for you. Now, how to fix it? If he treats you well, then it’s worth your own transformation. You just need to boost your self-esteem as it may be the main culprit of your toxic relationship. Don’t avoid meetings with your family and friends and you don’t have to bring your partner with you, give him some break! Also, find some passion that will be only yours. You will see that you can spend time without him and still have fun. You can also sign up for a gym or some courses and be proud of your achievements. Your partner should be proud too.
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