How to stay friendly with a male friend without him mistaking it for being flirtatious!
If a woman is kind and friendly, she usually runs the risk of being misinterpreted by her male friend. The research done by the American scientist can be proof that, although we often feel bad thinking that other girls try to get loved ones away from us. The truth is these men are the same men who tend to see females as companions sentimental. Even when they swear that the only thing that exists between them and the other lady is friendship. This time it is they who have the right not to believe in this phenomenon...!
Best friends hang out with each other a lot, right? Well, it is fine if you are going out with the same gender, so the question "Are you guys together?" never actually pops up but as soon as you date the opposite gender, you will see that the first question being asked is this one! Even if they do not ask, they automatically assume you guys are together, or you should be together because you make a cute couple! No matter how close you guys are they will never tell you how they actually feel about you and that is for the best!
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People say after being with someone for so long, you develop feelings for them and that might just be right! He/she might just have feelings for you but they will never tell you! Which could make the friendship a little weird at times! It will hurt them to see you with someone, to see you fangirling over someone and a lot more. We are going to repeat ourselves! It is fine when you guys are the same gender. Even then, jealousy happens and it is pretty normal but when it comes to the opposite gender, things change. You might even find yourself doubting whether you have feelings for your bestie or not!
And this feeling comes to the surface when they start dating! You no longer are the only bestie in their life but that does not necessarily mean that you are jealous because you are not the one he/she is romantically involved with! This will happen no matter how bro-like your friendship is. It happens especially to girls! Your girlfriends that have seen you both together start telling you that they can feel the vibe! That something is definitely going on, if not from your side, and they can see you guys being together in the near future.
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Despite all this, we have some tips for you to help you not to get misinterpreted in the first place. Rachel McLaren, Ph.D., says: "It’s almost impossible to convey with complete certainty to another person that you don’t want something romantic. There’s always going to be that question mark and possibility that one of you will change your mind." So what we can do first is to go with the boyfriend option of course if he exists! Rachel DeAlto, the relationship coach, says: "If you have a boyfriend or significant other, make sure it’s included in the conversation earlier rather than later."
If you are only friends with this guy and you want to stay friends only, you are not planning on being more than friends, you need to know that by being alone with this person things might go out of hand. You do not know what is going on in their mind so it is safer to stay to the group hangouts especially if there is a boyfriend or a girlfriend involved. Rachel McLaren says: "Try to hang out in groups at the beginning, so you can establish your friendship as just that."
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Also what you need to keep in mind is that they are boys after all so you cannot act with them the way that you act with your other girlfriends. Let’s say that a girlfriend of yours has a new haircut or a new outfit, you compliment her but do not go ahead and compliment the guy as well because this sends them mixed signals and that is what you want to stay away from as much as possible! DeAlto says: "Male friends have to be handled differently than girlfriends—especially if you think there is an attraction on his side."
And of course not touch! Keep in mind that at the end of the day, they are guys! Do not go around rubbing their shoulder or touching them while talking to them constantly! That is a deal breaker. DeAlto says: "Touch is a powerful flirtation tool. A goodbye hug is okay, but no knee squeezes, shoulder rubs, or arm grabs." Unless you want to go for flirting with him or even actually being in a relationship with him, do not go that far.
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Sometimes, despite all this, the person gets the wrong idea. He might feel like you want to be with him. Based on the studies, on average, a woman’s friendliness is mistaken for physical interest 3.5 times every year! So reading that, there are times that you need to just draw the line and say it in words! McLaren says: "At some point, both of you will wonder if this friendship should be something more. That’s just a fact of cross-se* relationships. Research shows there’s a kind of conspiracy of silence…"
"Where people who are romantically interested in their friend aren’t sure how their feelings will be received, so they just don’t bring it up to avoid getting hurt. But if you want to clear the air to avoid any potential sticky situations, try this: "You’re a wonderful friend, and I love spending time with you, but I’m just not interested in you in that way. I just want to make that clear." There’s a chance he’ll stay in denial and harbor hope for your relationship, but this is the most direct message you can deliver on your feelings without being unnecessarily harsh."
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