Secrets about first love
First love is one of the most important feelings in our lives. Like any feeling, love inevitably changes, not because of our weaknesses or external difficulties, but because it is just its nature. However, at some point, most of these changes are harmful to loving people, and their love is subject to various failures if these changes cannot be prevented. The problem is, however, that only certain changes can be prevented and the first love often ends with a painful breakup.
Relationships of the adolescence period, that is first love, are called pre-intimate. They are often found unstable and unsteady, often inversely proportional to feelings that tend to be wild and fiery. Additionally, they are vulnerable to various external and internal disruptive factors and with the tendency to hide the first love with the simultaneous need to show the feelings to the world. On the other hand - in contrast to later intimate relationships - you notice a lack of closeness and the ability to sacrifice for a relationship or dedication.
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The first love can teach you an important lesson and prepares young people for mature, stable, intimate relationships. Adolescents have the opportunity to confront their ideas about the partnership with reality, build a realistic picture of the relationship, face difficulties and seek ways to resolve conflicts with a close person. Also, they learn how to support each other in difficult moments of life. The first love allows it.
First love - risk of depression
However, it can also be different. If you don’t experience support from parents or friends, then you have to deal with the difficult experience of the first love on your own. Young, inexperienced people are particularly vulnerable. Excessive confidence, fascination, infatuation - all this can make it difficult to maintain a healthy distance. Unhappy love becomes a trap for a young person and if it’s not successful and leads to the breakup then young people can even suffer from depression. Therefore, first love should be treated as an important experience because it often affects our future life.
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How it develops
Relationships undergo distinct changes. The first love goes through the same. What a couple feels at the beginning of the relationship changes with time. The occurrence of such changes is usually treated either as the appearance or disappearance of true love. The reasons for such changes are usually caused by negative traits of the partner. On the other hand, it often fails because this is the nature of the first love and no matter how hard you try, it is doomed to fall apart if one or both of you are still immature and not ready for a serious step in your lives.
First love - ingredients
It is worth having a look at the basic ingredients of love to understand that the variability of our feelings is just inevitable. You cannot once and for all fall in love with someone and maintain the same emotional state and feelings towards that person forever. Depending on various factors, it will change, for better or for worse. The first love consists of three essential ingredients: intimacy, passion, involvement. If you want to keep the spark in your relationship, you cannot forget about any of these ingredients.
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First love - intimacy
Intimacy in the relationship is tender, positive feelings, expressing attachment, closeness and willingness to interact with each other. These feelings result from the ability to communicate, mutual understanding and support. They arise when you get to know each other more and more, hence the intimacy slowly grows as the relationship develops. The biggest enemy? Routine that can kill the relationship if you don’t stop it in advance. Love can be spontaneous and passionate! You need to be more and more interested in yourselves instead of being bored and tired of the relationship.
First love - passion
Passion is a combination of strong emotions, both positive and negative, mostly accompanied with desire and arousal. A lot of symptoms of first love are mainly driven by passion. Most of them include searching for a psychical contact, closeness, first intercourse, being energetic and aroused all the time. You are simply obsessed with your partner but you can be also unaware of your partner's flaws and defects. First love is often the blind love.
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First love - involvement
Involvement means that you decide to pursue your relationship and make it more serious and devoted. You no longer think just about pleasure, fun, and entertainment. You make plans and decisions that determine your future. And you cannot imagine future without your partner. If this ingredient is already present in your relationship then it means you have a chance for a long-term relationship, of course, if you both try hard to maintain it.
First love - how it influences your future
First love guides your future, whether you want it or not. Even if it ends with a breakup, you learn an important lesson that affects your future relationships and interactions with other people. Sometimes it may lead to depression, lower self-esteem or frustration but it can also give you power and strength that makes you a successful person in the future. First love is not always doomed to fail, there are lots of lucky people who spend their whole lives with first loves. It can really work.