There are 4 different types of people and this is how you can deal with each!
We meet so many people on our day to day life and there is one thing we can all agree on and that is the fact that you cannot find two people who are just like one another. It takes time to find out how to act with someone and until then, you may or may not be able to maintain that relationship or friendship with that significant other! To help with this, Vanessa Van Edwards has put people in 4 different groups and have given us an introduction and with a how-to instruction to help us save our relationships! Here are 4 different types of people and this is how you can deal with each!
As Vanessa Van Edwards says, there are 4 types of people. Think about the person or people who are in your lives now and see which category they fit in!
Vanessa explains: "Downers are also known as Negative Nancy’s or Debbie Downers. They always have something bad to say. They complain, critique and judge. They are almost impossible to please."
"Better Thans are also known as Know It All’s, One Upper’s or Show-Offs. They like to try to impress you, name-drop and compare."
"Passives are also known as Push-Overs, Yes Men and Weaklings. They don’t contribute much to conversations or people around them and let others do the hard work."
"Tanks are also known as being explosive, a handful or bossy. They want their way and will do anything to get it."
After identifying your friend, she told us not to change them! "When we meet a difficult person, or if we have one in our family or circle of friends our instinct is to try to change them."
"We try to encourage Downers to be more positive, Passives to stand up for themselves, Tanks to calm down and Better Thans to be more humble."
"This never works! In fact, when you try to change someone they tend to resent you, dig in their heels, and get worse."
The next step is to try and understand them! "The way to disengage a difficult person is to try to understand where they are coming from."
"I try to find their value language. A value language is what someone values most. It is what drives their decisions."
"For some people it is money; for others, it is power or knowledge. This not only helps me understand them, but also helps them relax and become more open minded."
"For example, sometimes Tanks just want to explain their opinion. If you let them talk to you, that might help them not blow up or try to dominate a situation."
And the last one she mentions is not to let them be toxic! She said: "Some difficult people can be toxic. Toxic people can be passive aggressive, mean or hurtful."
"So if you have to deal with them, you can understand where they are coming from and then keep your distance."
"Toxic relationships are harmful so you need to create a buffer zone by surrounding yourself with good friends, seeing them less and if you have to be with them, do it for the minimum amount of time."